remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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