lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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