careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
