North Korea, Best Korea!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
