I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
