oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
