I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
