I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
