I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
