Your tits are I can't wait for
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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