I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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