Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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