Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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