just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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