so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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