I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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