just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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