Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
