Only a mothe r could love this liver
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
