ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
