Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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