god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize