what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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