If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
