i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
