He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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