you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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