i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
