Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
