just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
