Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
