This girl is more easily done than said...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The beer is more important than you right now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
