I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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