I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
