At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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