Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
