Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
