So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize