I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
