Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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