Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Those nachos came to me in a dream
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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