Buhtt sex?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
