Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
