my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
