Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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