I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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