Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
