I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
