me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize