WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
