Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
