he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
