I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize