he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
