Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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