guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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