Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
