He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
