it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I believe in your delicious
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
