Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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