have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
