She just used a chaser for red wine.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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