Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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