I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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