The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
